Today’s sophisticated Big Topper children want real poo; none of that plastic rubbish that the Natural History Museum cooks up from Dinosaur relics in its Dino Jaws exhibition. And if it’s the nasty horrors of nose picking you want, well, they all came to the right place; crusty, we agreed, is better than gooey, but none would own up to…well, let’s leave that story. Body functions, and body bits, are tirelessly fascinating, especially when made out of sand. In little over ten minutes, Big Toppers reduced the ancient wonders of Greek mythology depicted in the giant sand sculptures of Brighton to so many ‘boobies’ and ‘willies’.
But, as we are responsible educative types, a little culture came our way too. The glorious gilt altar painting of St George and his tortures at the V&A held the children rapt. Painted in 1410, the gory images are intoxicating and exciting. Whoops of glee as St George is boiled in tar, or cut in half. In the very next room, clothes from the 1960’s swirl and reveal more than any skirt has for centuries. An exhibition of Kings Road fashion shown among clothes from the last two hundred years included under pants (tee-hee) and a boned corset, (ahhh-agony). A Turkish ceramic design workshop taught the children the magic of transferring their own pictures onto another surface, so watch out all those who have just had new Colefax and Fowler wallpaper pasted up in the drawing room.
If you’re concerned about Defence of the Realm, fear no more. Big Toppers are more than keen to defend their territory. Whether on the bridge of HMS Belfast, or pitting themselves against the Montague’s or Capulet’s in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Big Toppers are not going to let the baddies get away with anything.
This year, fears were challenged, new experiences were had and new friends were made. Such is the popularity of Big Toppers, the Moore family from Boston flew in for the summer. They say it’s because dad had a contract in London; we know different! In a show down, Gabriella would be a match for any wrong-doer from a Shakespeare tragedy. Given a moment, quietly in the corner, Hugo plays piano with finesse and thought. We had some formidable football playing, and some Italian style injury acting from everyone, and the discovery of the best climbing tree in London. Helen cured her nervousness of boats and water and smiled all day and Cameron taught us things about snakes we never knew. And some chic chicks read Hello on the green. Many of the Big Toppers now know various different ways of separating an egg, so it’s a good time to get them making you your supper. A good return on investment, we’d say.
None of this would have happened without the brilliant and friendly people who made Big Toppers so successful. Yvonne’s planning, executed with panache by Holly, Johnny, Henry, Anna, Alex, Celia, Sophie-Rose, Justin, Deji, Coach Robin, and Leonie. And of course, Clive the driver; without who our horizons would have remained within the fiery heat of London.
Children often have a clear view of the world, but the question, ‘what is art, and when is it good?’ stumps even them. The Tate to Tate trip gave everyone a chance to see figurative and abstract painting and sculpture, but not all agreed which was ‘art’. A giant canvas of blue paint was beautiful to one, and useless to another. Iron girders painted yellow? That’s not art, apparently, because it doesn’t take long enough to make. The question that most exercised one child was the problem of nakedness. Yes, we’re back to bodies again. Why, she wondered, are there so many nudes of women, and hardly any of men? Do you know? Answers on a fig leaf.